Friday, April 16, 2010

CVS Greg

I've decided I need to write about more interesting things.

Today's topic: Greg from CVS.

Greg is my favorite kind of human being. He works in the pharmacy, leaning on the counter while Elton John and Shania Twain serenade the hunched elderly women buying windex and bunion cream. I can't help but wonder what it would be like to kiss Greg. He is nearly lipless, lacking so much emotion that I instantly feel the need to cry, scream, and slap him as soon as I see his painfully blank face. I am driven to crack Greg. I have had plans to drag him out of his white cvs cloaked shell for months.

Today, Carolyn and I went to purchase cold medication from CVS. I caught a glimpse of Greg's face as soon as we entered the store. I repeatedly punched Carolyn in an attempt to convey my mixed emotions for him. She didn't get it, but she did by the time we left.

We stood in front of the cold medicine, the kind that they keep behind the counter because they make you hallucinate and hear voices. Greg walked mechanically over to the counter. Greg: "Are you dropping off?" (We were standing in the drop off part). Carolyn: "No, we're looking at the cold medicine." Greg: "Do you want to buy some?" Carolyn: "Yes." Hannah: "No." Greg: " "

Eventually, we bought some cold medicine. Greg's face passed my test with flying colors and never changed throughout our interaction. My standard for him is high. He thanked us for coming to CVS. Greg (robotically): "Have a nice night." Hannah: "You have a GREAT night." Greg: " "

More updates on this situation as it progresses.