tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67347231895802996502023-11-16T07:56:19.966-08:00sincerely/love/thank you/signed/yoursHannah M. NealeUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger60125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-57247717236539902792011-06-28T08:24:00.001-07:002011-06-29T11:01:18.740-07:00DO IT, YOURSELFNo nonsense, nonchalance is <br />dressing up like a wolf <br />boy, barking at the moon so when your voice cracks,<br />you'll show your teeth with burning cheeks.<br />Granite state eyes like an august night, poured<br />all day until we forgot which season. <br />Talked indoors while we scream upstairs, quiet outside<br />so we can keep it a secret.<br />Morning birds these days, the little punks <br />arguing about who’s seen it first,<br />well the worm’s already gone<br />but nobody cares, nonchalant like <br />so what, I like to play dress up too.<br />I can keep a secret, I can play along and we’ll give<br />each other eyes, playing for keeps<br />indoors and out, up and down but not inside because-<br />we'll lie to the moon together, ursa major.<br />You've got the whole damn constellation on your face.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-22041928974252215272011-05-19T14:10:00.000-07:002011-05-19T14:14:56.404-07:00bravo, you made itmanic rain walks home<br />to say he won't be home<br />tonight<br />time line of faces<br />hung just below the eyes<br /><br />stays awake for the finale,<br />after missing every season<br /><br />she knows, he's got it all <br />measured out by slice<br /><br />it takes<br />a beer<br />to ask the rain how it is<br />that you're not cold,<br />fold into a coat and wait<br />to be taken off<br /><br />you're not like me, pretty eyes<br />fish out of water, gasping for air <br />the owl and the pussycat<br /><br />they're sayin' something about the end of the world<br /><br />haha, you missed itUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-41509774892348627412011-04-30T06:27:00.001-07:002011-04-30T06:33:10.997-07:00get up, stand upspeed up<br />global warming, they say<br /><br />sweeping floors, I take things literally<br />plain bagel toasted with butter for here,<br />fire games, 10 minutes and I've poisoned my own oxygen<br />we've got the magic sticks<br />naughty little nose<br /><br />oh okay, we were supposed to start running<br />we've just got so much to talk about these days!<br /><br />raccoon eyes says,<br />"I'm bored of kiddie speed, I mean come on"<br />she's technically a stranger, I'm just<br />taking a break but it strikes me-<br />this is our secret, we've all agreed so<br />hush<br /><br />the parades can't march fast enough-<br />meetings, conventions, blog blog blog<br />blah blah blah<br /><br />we've got the speed to catch up<br />keep going<br /><br />speed away little bees<br />buzz the hedges,<br />the world's on fire so<br />keep going<br /><br />we found the speed that's got us going<br />the globe's warming, we're toasted<br />lawns and wind chimes singing<br /><br />keep<br /><br />going<br />going<br /><br />goingUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-2498750520288194202011-03-04T21:44:00.000-08:002011-03-04T22:05:02.234-08:00grandegood morning Chicago <br />walks in, asking about Harvard Square.<br />oh easy, I say.<br />Go until you can’t, right? <br /><br />Left at the Hess, <br />stay straight, you'll see<br />some brains,<br />business and a bridge-<br />so get over that and here <br />you go, zero dollars and zero cents <br /><br />no dollars, no sense<br /><br /><br />yes sir, we get lost <br />around these parts, I say<br /><br />the old man playing dress up<br /><br />run fast, far away from <br />never <br />never grand-<br />we stay lost here, we like it<br /><br />you have a nice dayUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-68941148059380454282011-02-28T03:25:00.000-08:002011-03-04T22:11:59.057-08:00do you want a receipt?last night I dreamed big<br /><br />photographs of growing up <br />spread across a red wall<br /><br />a childhood, exposed to light<br />in a controlled manner<br /><br />woke up tomorrow, <br />February’s 6 am blues<br /><br />whistling trees, birds with ambition<br />it's the first it could be the first,<br />somethingUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-21246350477326318192011-02-27T08:37:00.000-08:002011-03-05T04:04:42.390-08:00don't believe in ghostsmy father's beard, blank pages<br />white out, the smell of<br /><br />trouble at the dinner table, <br />correction doesn't come in a bottle<br /><br />white sheets, no good <br />shoes will get dirty so easily<br /><br />little girl, skinned my knee<br />my mother said to believe in ghosts<br /><br /> <br />children should be seen, not heard<br />squeezed my knee to make it look worse.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-62279529300686355582011-02-27T08:29:00.000-08:002011-02-27T08:36:32.228-08:00places and people, people going placesSTAY COLD, Massachusetts<br />walking through the pieces of a broken 7-11 sign,<br />I remember- the sun in my eyes at eight o clock<br />the color of independence day<br />STOP FOR A SECOND to see the puppies<br />a store window- Allston, Massachusetts<br />two dogs, chained dreamers<br />it's beautiful here, don't you see?<br />(we are not puppies anymore)<br />go ahead, shake hands with winter<br />you've got yourself a deal!<br />stay cold, stay cold, stay<br />HERE, Massachusetts<br />dreamers, on displayUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-65970379683334635802011-02-22T13:51:00.000-08:002011-02-23T09:23:50.830-08:00HOW HAVE YOU BEEN, HOW ARE THINGS?Don't know what time it is, too busy running out of it<br /><br />EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL, EVERYTHING IS GREAT<br />We're together now- it's August<br />can't look out the window, it's beautiful out there<br />SHUT IT OUT<br />slept through autumn, missed something<br />tired of looking at the sun, tired of- <br />tired, so tired<br /><br />September sun- don't exist <br />3 am, two missed calls<br />(didn't miss them, just you)<br />I couldn't do what's up/what are you doing/how are you <br />(NOTHING, WE'VE GOT NOTHING)<br />clumsy, will not last<br />HERE I AM, STRANDED<br />sleeping in your clothes, <br />a ghost was here, maybe<br />so strange amongst your things, bare legs, bed too big I think but-<br />(I forget)<br /><br />WHAT IF-<br />I don't say the right things, I'm worried<br />that I'm too busy worrying about saying the the right things<br />can't really say, not can't like shouldn't, can't like<br />(I haven't found the words yet)<br />oh, I love you much more<br />than I will ever be able to say<br />(I haven't found the words)<br /><br />midnight in November-<br />"I won't let you leave"<br />you walked out the door,<br />THIS IS MY HOUSE, YOU CAN'T <br /><br /><br />Shaela is playing the guitar and I'm thinking-<br />what a dumb fucking girl I am<br />head in the clouds, a million books I shouldn't have read<br />imagining someone like you, glasses.<br />WHAT A DUMB FUCKING GIRL.<br />Ugly inside, can't look at anyone- they'll notice<br />tired of people asking, tired of people talking.<br />Little birds can't look at me;<br />shut down, go through the motions-<br />drugs, give me drugs, where are you?<br />Alright during the day, running in circles<br />forgetting myself, nothing to say really.<br />Maybe that should make me nervous, <br />it feels pretty good.<br />(I FORGET EVERYTHING)<br /><br />I just, don't know what to say<br />I don't think there's anything to say<br /><br />Must be nice, growing up with people-<br />living in the same places.<br />Really nice, sticking around.<br />(this is easy, I bet you're so busy)<br /><br />FOR HALF A SECOND, EVERYTHING IS GREAT<br />So I talk about it, then blink-<br />it's bad again<br />Look at you all, doing the dishes-<br />don't look at me for reassurance<br />I haven't got anything for any of you.<br />Exhausted, someone says <br />what did you do today,<br />how have you been? I think<br />(I DON'T WANT TO SHARE ANY OF THIS WITH YOU)<br />sorry, normally I give myself to everyone but I'm tired of it.<br />I'm so tired of it because look what happens?<br />Judith gets peppermint in her coffee today, <br />Triple venti soy laughter, the business man<br />as dry as foam-I say "shit's shit" about Christmas.<br />I like him from this distance, behind everything<br />(at least I know now)<br />DON'T PUSH IT, GET AWAY<br />here we all are, here we are every day together.<br /><br />MERRY CHRISTMAS, ARE YOU OKAY?<br />(everything familiar pushed inside a stranger)<br />oops, I confused your friends with mine, it snowed<br />that night we forgot about what if-<br />WHAT IF YOU GROW UP<br />(WHAT IF I SHUT UP)<br />what if I let you stay?<br />it's not so great but still-<br />better than the cold of this house or any morning alone.<br />I found letters from the summer last night,<br />they made it seem understandable<br /><br /><br />February, fucked in the head-<br />thinking about terrible things, like milk<br />(non-fat, 2%, whole, no please, no)<br />GET UP, STAND UP<br />GET UP, STAND UP<br />I haven't felt beautiful for a very long timeUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-69776573793068231432011-02-18T12:03:00.000-08:002011-02-18T12:05:37.142-08:00oh yeah?WE DON'T BELIEVE IN BEING SAD<br />well then, stop making me so fucking sad<br />I've got brave ankles,<br />walk faster than all you winter joggers<br />giving me headaches with second skins<br />EYES older than you, Boston<br />got a freedom trail, oh yeah?<br />let's go ask the east coast about<br />swallowing you whole, teaching you<br />about the ocean, laughing<br />when you realize it's too cold to swim<br />all of the seasons make use tired, so<br />TAKE A SEAT, HAVE A DRINK<br />it's on meUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-13572779836411662472011-02-15T14:54:00.000-08:002011-02-15T14:58:11.799-08:00it doesn't matter, I'm too worried about what you don't say out loudso, what can we learn from this<br />I learned that you introduce yourself,<br /><br />(my name is shaela)<br /><br />using a voice I have never heard <br /><br />sorry if I'm jumping ahead, but<br />there's a storm coming, and I'm looking at it<br />your hand is raised, <br />and I wonder if it's because somebody asked-<br />who is the most beautiful girl in the world?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-76812504798478736452011-02-15T10:01:00.000-08:002011-02-15T20:11:05.168-08:00bostonYou don't need New York City to make me fall in love with you<br /><br />buy me the Brooklyn Bridge, <br />make it fancy<br />this time I can wear lipstick <br />and a sparkly dress,<br />trick them all into believing in a city behind my eyes<br />where I am walking so fast <br />you might rather ask the train to dinner.<br /><br />Let's keep this up until we're drunk enough<br />to confuse ourselves <br />with other people, you can be the one back home<br />who knows how to get used to things like the TV <br />being on all of the time, <br />and sports.<br /><br />He thinks of Boston as a town and takes his damn time waking up<br /><br />forgetting about white noise, <br />he stands there like a deflating balloon, mouth open <br />quietly letting everybody believe <br />that he is loud.<br /><br />Later-<br />he gets a phone call from a bathroom somewhere in New York City,<br /><br />I've grown tired of getting used <br />to things so please let go of my feet,<br />I'm no good at holding still.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-53259104081924375462011-02-09T21:13:00.000-08:002011-02-09T21:15:56.148-08:00I dreamed about new york again last nightYesterday, you said <br />“I feel like getting back to myself, “<br />we sat still for hours talking about moving <br /><br />The purple tape player sits on a stack of maps<br />paused on directions out of reach, <br />wish we could go back<br /><br />You’re alright and terrible at the same time <br />but part of me is afraid to listen<br />I’m sorry I can’t pick you up<br /><br />The shower stays on empty, and so <br />we grow cold, waiting.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-66022637734525268622011-02-07T08:33:00.000-08:002011-02-07T08:36:18.810-08:00we carewoke up on the wrong side<br />can I help you? <br />I can’t help you<br />did you say no whipped cream? <br />I don't care<br />ANYTHING ELSE<br />yes, I'm stuck to the window<br />turn around<br />what are you looking at out there<br />walk home with purple fists, <br />what are you looking atUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-68976431468662431302011-01-25T19:15:00.000-08:002011-02-07T08:36:56.282-08:00let me go I'm freezingI can’t shave my legs this winter,<br />to walk carefully around black ice-<br />or you<br />I need them, just the way they are<br />I can go this fast if I feel like it because<br />when I slow down I see things clearly<br /><br />so this is it<br /><br />I look like I’ve been grounded<br />fish out of water with the windows open and<br />I complain about the cold but I guess<br />I’m just standing here naked<br />take it or, <br />leave it<br />but please, don’t just stand thereUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-46524725316050902552011-01-19T23:57:00.000-08:002011-01-24T19:16:53.750-08:00wormsthey are howling, chattering, <br />grinding their teeth<br />look at how tall she's gotten<br />I can't believe it, so tall<br />she's lucky to be so tall,<br />very lucky, being tall<br />but <br /><br />whispering<br /><br />did you hear?<br />they fed her miracle grow<br />just to eat her rootsUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-65931958419777565242011-01-19T23:21:00.000-08:002011-01-24T19:21:25.627-08:00vacatethe others smudge their<br />dried blue lips on the windowpane<br />leaving empty speech bubbles <br />frozen there<br />(they need us)<br />to fill in their blanks<br />vacant, we are <br />vacant, <br />we don't look<br />but wait<br />for accidental warmth-<br />hold my hand, or <br />take it off completely,<br />why bother<br />everything grew uphill this year<br />and we can’t feel our feet anymore<br />so chew off some skin,<br />how soon until we run out<br /><br />don't look, but-<br /><br />they're waitingUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-54552082379802350292011-01-14T16:07:00.000-08:002011-01-14T16:10:51.371-08:00dress upAn old woman disguised as an elephant <br />eats all of the peanuts without breathing. <br />The others remain still,<br />they swear they hear whispering<br />Across the street, a tiny old man crosses his legs.<br />I’ve seen you eat meat, he says.<br />You’re not fooling anybody.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-53733182764902145162011-01-14T15:09:00.000-08:002011-01-14T16:07:06.202-08:00disillusionLast seen romancing an illusion-<br />they say he sits for days amidst the bronze<br />ducklings, children feed him bagels.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-64970093911216605452010-12-01T08:11:00.000-08:002011-01-14T16:23:45.094-08:00everything you (right) sounds so perfectI like being a customer <br />for once, irregular.<br /><br />I'm making all these Christmas bears sing <br />Jingle Bells, there's probably over 20 of them and everyone stops <br />just for a second, feeling nervous<br /><br />I once subscribed to National Geographic without permission <br />all because <br />I wanted to look at the pictures <br />I wanted the stuffed husky dog that came free with subscription and everyday,<br /><br />I ran to the mailbox expecting an entire dog<br />until it was there <br />it was tiny <br />it smelled funny and had a weird looking face <br /><br />I didn't know what it meant <br /><br />6 years old, writing Christmas lists on pieces of lined paper with pictures <br />cut out from the Sunday newspaper, <br />poorly taped next to each number<br />I knew they'd never make it under the Christmas tree-<br />that's not the point <br /><br />23 years old, I'm doing the same thing <br />only it's in my head <br />(I can't get out of here because I'm so in love with everything)<br /><br />I'm worried everyone must know about the sour gummy worms I abandoned behind a box of Lucky Charms <br />-minus three<br /><br />childhood guilt; bought a box of fun dip just for the sticks <br />because I can't stop thinking<br />about those sad worms <br /><br />I'm all over the city just for the driveby <br />conversations, always staring at the ground,<br />hoping for the best. An invisible girl <br />she says: "I mean <br />I guess you kind of have to, right?"<br /><br />rightUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-12498500321500643572010-11-12T21:00:00.000-08:002010-11-13T05:06:21.778-08:00I don't know I wasn't sureBut, there are always the things.<br />I asked Frank about being uncertain, how<br />does someone ever know, what to <br />think or even how to know which means <br />you had to <br />know how to do something<br />in the first place, right <br />(and how do you, ever).<br />He doesn't mention anything about how none of that really makes sense,<br />but talks about how a mailbox is really just a mailbox, and tomorrow<br />it will still be just a mailbox, and scratches his chin.<br /><br />I’m already turning the whole thing into some metaphorical bullshit <br />the kind I'm learning to keep to myself. Also, fuck. What's that word again, <br />some other word for conversation that I <br />can’t think of right now.<br /><br />I guess that lady with the cart who collects all of the cans in the city,<br />that's funny, because it's the only way either of us know how to survive.<br />Or that toad of a man who runs the dry cleaner <br />just around the corner, he forgot how to smile or maybe, he can't help it because<br />toads probably don't smile. Either way, his afternoon chocolate chip cookie,<br />I sometimes depend on that.<br /><br /><br />Of course, then there’s Frank, <br /><br />and there’s Frank’s mailbox,<br />and the fact that Frank is sure of that mailbox,<br />which means there are always the things.<br /><br />that’s something, rightUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-31773091118891281802010-11-12T18:32:00.000-08:002010-11-13T05:11:26.625-08:00no rest for the wicked sadThat coffee roll you like but more importantly, how you <br />have to pick off all of the toppings before you can eat it and how I never <br />knew how to tell you about how much I like the way<br />you are about food. And I guess<br />I've always hated that boys can be hairy, but there is<br />your chest hair and then, there are hairy boys and you<br />are two different planets. There is also<br />all three of your phone alarms, all three<br />I hated that out loud so of course, now here I am<br />missing them like that time we made so many mashed potatoes <br />that we fell asleep,<br />or how you left your clothes in <br />the kind of piles around my room that made me think<br />the only reasonable explanation was that you were abducted by aliens. <br />Or how you always fixed the bottom sheet when it came off <br />because you are good at silently<br />understanding things <br />such as how an exposed mattress can make me nervous.<br /><br />Things, things to think about pretty much never<br />except when I get up to get a drink of water and wonder <br />if I should get one for you <br />but you’re never home anymore,<br /><br />but really I am just worried because<br /><br />who takes your glasses off when you fall asleep with them on and <br />who makes sure the blanket doesn't come off of you <br />and who are we supposed to be now?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-15218103429651961942010-11-11T12:29:00.000-08:002010-11-11T12:30:45.223-08:00quality marta brief conversation about important things<br />somewhere else, you could take a sip of wine or even just blink<br />and forget which things to pay attention to,<br />wind up missing all of the most obvious ones <br />just because your stomach kind of hurts, and your hair <br />looks bad today and before you left for work you didn't even think<br />about deodorant. And somewhere two people are for just a second<br />using credit cards and alcohol in an exchange of more than<br />just money and some peace of mind. She says some bullshit<br />we learned in the 90's and he hears something he didn't know existed,<br />ways of living invisible to each other but on the off day when they<br />are forced into acknowledgment because of something like<br />a long traffic light or sitting in the waiting room for so long<br />that you feel like everyone's friend, a brief conversation<br />about something important shortens the longest day into something<br />to maybe write about.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-48292857469464981402010-10-24T17:22:00.001-07:002010-10-28T10:48:02.431-07:00=The mathematics are that I can't write this one for the life of me,<br />it's got me thinking about what "for the life of me" could ever mean,<br />or about how our calculator minds are just adding up, adding up,<br />forgetting the numbers and more importantly about how that doesn't make sense.<br />Mathematics are always there to make sense, that's why we say "mathematics,"<br />instead of math (you have to sound important sometimes).<br />Adding and subtracting words, looking at them the way <br />I looked at sunflowers when I was small, so into everything all of the time.<br />Multiply them by Tuesday, divide by Wednesday.<br />I don't know anything about numerators but we have this common denominator,<br />you and I, we have the same faces for each other.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-36344828810490667282010-10-20T14:06:00.000-07:002011-01-24T19:26:58.155-08:00nothing important happened todaydemands-<br />feel special feel special feel special<br />THIS IS A SPECIAL DAY<br />a terrible phone conversation or,<br />shaving your legs too fast or,<br />even just a bad hair day<br />no, no no no.<br />"Not on your birthday."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734723189580299650.post-16069232504808551892010-10-19T11:44:00.001-07:002010-10-19T11:56:00.603-07:00run, a wayA wet hair in the winter kind of thing,<br />wanting to leave, wanting to leave, watching the leaves.<br />Stacks of books, irritable cats, unopened bills,<br />postcards I can't throw away, trash I can't get rid of.<br />Maybe I will stay and laugh in the greeting card aisle for a while,<br />maybe buy heating pads during the other parts of the month besides that time.<br />A crying for no reason kind of thing because reasons, <br />like dads, say things like "I know why" and they do. <br />And then, you know, so do you.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0