bravo, you made it

manic rain walks home
to say he won't be home
tonight
time line of faces
hung just below the eyes

stays awake for the finale,
after missing every season

she knows, he's got it all
measured out by slice

it takes
a beer
to ask the rain how it is
that you're not cold,
fold into a coat and wait
to be taken off

you're not like me, pretty eyes
fish out of water, gasping for air
the owl and the pussycat

they're sayin' something about the end of the world

haha, you missed it

get up, stand up

speed up
global warming, they say

sweeping floors, I take things literally
plain bagel toasted with butter for here,
fire games, 10 minutes and I've poisoned my own oxygen
we've got the magic sticks
naughty little nose

oh okay, we were supposed to start running
we've just got so much to talk about these days!

raccoon eyes says,
"I'm bored of kiddie speed, I mean come on"
she's technically a stranger, I'm just
taking a break but it strikes me-
this is our secret, we've all agreed so
hush

the parades can't march fast enough-
meetings, conventions, blog blog blog
blah blah blah

we've got the speed to catch up
keep going

speed away little bees
buzz the hedges,
the world's on fire so
keep going

we found the speed that's got us going
the globe's warming, we're toasted
lawns and wind chimes singing

keep

going
going

going

grande

good morning Chicago
walks in, asking about Harvard Square.
oh easy, I say.
Go until you can’t, right?

Left at the Hess,
stay straight, you'll see
some brains,
business and a bridge-
so get over that and here
you go, zero dollars and zero cents

no dollars, no sense


yes sir, we get lost
around these parts, I say

the old man playing dress up

run fast, far away from
never
never grand-
we stay lost here, we like it

you have a nice day

do you want a receipt?

last night I dreamed big

photographs of growing up
spread across a red wall

a childhood, exposed to light
in a controlled manner

woke up tomorrow,
February’s 6 am blues

whistling trees, birds with ambition
it's the first it could be the first,
something

don't believe in ghosts

my father's beard, blank pages
white out, the smell of

trouble at the dinner table,
correction doesn't come in a bottle

white sheets, no good
shoes will get dirty so easily

little girl, skinned my knee
my mother said to believe in ghosts


children should be seen, not heard
squeezed my knee to make it look worse.

places and people, people going places

STAY COLD, Massachusetts
walking through the pieces of a broken 7-11 sign,
I remember- the sun in my eyes at eight o clock
the color of independence day
STOP FOR A SECOND to see the puppies
a store window- Allston, Massachusetts
two dogs, chained dreamers
it's beautiful here, don't you see?
(we are not puppies anymore)
go ahead, shake hands with winter
you've got yourself a deal!
stay cold, stay cold, stay
HERE, Massachusetts
dreamers, on display

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN, HOW ARE THINGS?

Don't know what time it is, too busy running out of it

EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL, EVERYTHING IS GREAT
We're together now- it's August
can't look out the window, it's beautiful out there
SHUT IT OUT
slept through autumn, missed something
tired of looking at the sun, tired of-
tired, so tired

September sun- don't exist
3 am, two missed calls
(didn't miss them, just you)
I couldn't do what's up/what are you doing/how are you
(NOTHING, WE'VE GOT NOTHING)
clumsy, will not last
HERE I AM, STRANDED
sleeping in your clothes,
a ghost was here, maybe
so strange amongst your things, bare legs, bed too big I think but-
(I forget)

WHAT IF-
I don't say the right things, I'm worried
that I'm too busy worrying about saying the the right things
can't really say, not can't like shouldn't, can't like
(I haven't found the words yet)
oh, I love you much more
than I will ever be able to say
(I haven't found the words)

midnight in November-
"I won't let you leave"
you walked out the door,
THIS IS MY HOUSE, YOU CAN'T


Shaela is playing the guitar and I'm thinking-
what a dumb fucking girl I am
head in the clouds, a million books I shouldn't have read
imagining someone like you, glasses.
WHAT A DUMB FUCKING GIRL.
Ugly inside, can't look at anyone- they'll notice
tired of people asking, tired of people talking.
Little birds can't look at me;
shut down, go through the motions-
drugs, give me drugs, where are you?
Alright during the day, running in circles
forgetting myself, nothing to say really.
Maybe that should make me nervous,
it feels pretty good.
(I FORGET EVERYTHING)

I just, don't know what to say
I don't think there's anything to say

Must be nice, growing up with people-
living in the same places.
Really nice, sticking around.
(this is easy, I bet you're so busy)

FOR HALF A SECOND, EVERYTHING IS GREAT
So I talk about it, then blink-
it's bad again
Look at you all, doing the dishes-
don't look at me for reassurance
I haven't got anything for any of you.
Exhausted, someone says
what did you do today,
how have you been? I think
(I DON'T WANT TO SHARE ANY OF THIS WITH YOU)
sorry, normally I give myself to everyone but I'm tired of it.
I'm so tired of it because look what happens?
Judith gets peppermint in her coffee today,
Triple venti soy laughter, the business man
as dry as foam-I say "shit's shit" about Christmas.
I like him from this distance, behind everything
(at least I know now)
DON'T PUSH IT, GET AWAY
here we all are, here we are every day together.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, ARE YOU OKAY?
(everything familiar pushed inside a stranger)
oops, I confused your friends with mine, it snowed
that night we forgot about what if-
WHAT IF YOU GROW UP
(WHAT IF I SHUT UP)
what if I let you stay?
it's not so great but still-
better than the cold of this house or any morning alone.
I found letters from the summer last night,
they made it seem understandable


February, fucked in the head-
thinking about terrible things, like milk
(non-fat, 2%, whole, no please, no)
GET UP, STAND UP
GET UP, STAND UP
I haven't felt beautiful for a very long time