stranger

the kind of night where I am spinning
in my head, there are summer lawns
winter rain, leafy brown graves
spun around me like a spring hailstorm
possessed by the eyes of a frantic owl
in my head, I'm shivering with words
pregnancy, they say, does this to you
I didn't know about the cravings
I just want it out of me
cravings can kill you without a tongue

the fumbling gropes of morning breath
have taken away my appetite for youth
my leaves pirouette to damp ground
silhouetting sweaty dreams of gray hair
I wake up ripping holes in my sheets
forgetting who I'm pretending to love this time
in my head, I'm shivering with desire
to be a recluse, they say, is selfish
I just want it out of me
being alone can kill you these days